The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 17

17. Robbie's bringing Sexy Back

It was a miserable day at World's of Fun. We were tired, seeing as we just got out of a band parade. It was cold. It was rainy. Nobody was having fun. Half the rides were closed. At that point, Worlds of Fun seemed to be as fun as watching Project Runway. But then, Robbie Carder brought be back to my senses. Senses that we could have fun by being stupid. So the first thing we did was go over to a $5 age guesser. He spent $5. And they guessed wrong. So he won a free prize. And what should he pick, other than...
Although Robbie has since moved on to Michigan, I shall miss him and his message. The message of bringing sexy back. Thank you Robbie, for being the 17th best moment this year.

Michael Xavier Youd

The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 18

18. Lowes Hide & Seek

Our 18/24 hour day was going well for us, when for some reason, Jon and I decided that we wanted to go to Lowes. About 2 minutes later, we realized that we had made a bad choice in going to Lowes. So in order to make the day more fun, we did what any civilized 2 people would do. We played hide and go seek. Jon hid first. I searched for him for 20 minutes, and assumed he left the store. But I had made a large mistake. I forgot to check Tool World. Of course! How silly could I be? Finally, with satisfied hearts and an empty cart, we left Lowes, making it a little bit better. And best of all, it gave a great moment that will make it into the top 25 moments of 2009.PS- I think that picture is actually from when we were buying food at Wal-Mart. No official evidence is available at the moment that we went to Lowes. We did.

Michael Xavier Youd

The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 19

19. St. Louis Watchtower

It was an extremely warm night for a Dave Matthews Band concert. The situation was not ideal. I was with my mother, who seemed to be tense the entire night. The heat did not help her tenseness, nor did the lesbians sitting in front of us. The opening band got Mom on edge. Finally, Dave comes on. Even though my mother was still upset, we all enjoyed ourselves. And then came the encore. The first song was You & Me, which set the two women in front of us to be...passionate. But then, Dave Matthews gave his one gift to the world: his cover of All Along the Watchtower.
That's not actually a picture I took. That's just the first image when you Google "Dave Matthews St. Louis". Aside from the crappy picture, those 9 minutes were awesome enough not only to make me crap my pants, but to be on the top 25 moments of 2009.

Michael Xavier Youd

The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 20

20. Boys' Day Announcement

It was a splendid Boys' Day 2009, so far filled with orthodontists, Rib Crib, Dave and Busters, a hotel that would seem fit for Michael Jackson, and a crappy movie known as Avatar. The next morning came, and Ihop was needed to fill the soul. So, we were eating, when the phone call came from the Breth Group. The announcement was made to us at Ihop that the members of the Boys' Day Mafia would be gaining another come next May! Oh, what epicness that fills the soul, knowing that Baby Jones is a boy. And on Boys' Day #10! This was epic enough to make the top 25 moments of 2009!

PS- The reason that it isn't higher is that the original #20 on my list actually happened in 2008. So while thinking of a new one, I realized that I hadn't included Baby Jones into the list. So don't be offended at the ranking. It's the most recent event on the list.

Michael Xavier Youd

The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 21

21. MMEA Madness

Ever since I joined band, our bipolar band teacher, Mr. Edwards, has had the strangely large desire to go to the MMEA Conference held every January near Lake of the Ozarks. Finally, this year proved that we were capable of handling this excitement. Excitement. Excitement? Exciteiwanttokillmyselfaftergoingtothatboringconferencement. Filled with dull band directors, tired students, and way too much S.W.A.G. for comfort, the MMEA conference was slightly boring. And the last thing I needed was the flu. But lo and behold, the day of MMEA came, and I was as sick as could be, barely holding in vomit. Here's my face. Note that I had showered twice and this was before the uniform got me sweaty.

So why is this on my top 25 moments of 2009? Firstly, I got to experience what Mr. Edwards considers exciting. Also, now that I look back on the event, it seems that it was one of those events that was so boring/awful, that it almost became fun. For instance, we did get to go and tour a dam. It made me want to gouge my eyes out with a plastic spork, but instead, I spent the majority of the tour signing the guest book under false aliases (Johnny Thunder, Brad Pitt, Minnie Mouse, etc.) with other cocky freshmen. So overall, this not-so-fun fun-nessity was strange enough to make it into the top 25 moments of 2009.

The Top 25 Moments of 2009-22

22. Perkins Pie

It was late, and after a freaking fun night seeing cover bands of Bob Seger and Lynyrd Skynyrd while my mom was out of town, we were all hungry. So where did we go? Perkins. After eating a delicious dinner, we ordered a pie. The next morning came around, and breakfast was needed. So what did I have? Perkin's French Silk Pie. (I don't have a picture of this one). Although I'm becoming more convinced by my own blog that I may grow up to be fat, it was worth it in the short run. Enough to make it #22 in my countdown.

The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 23

23. White Wedding

We had just entered the mall in St. Joe on Truett's Last Day in Gallatin. We, being 3 nerdy teenage boys, entered Gamestop. In the store, there was an Xbox being featured with Rock Band on it. So, being awesome, Truett and I had a Face-Off to White Wedding.
Sure, this may have prevented us from ever getting girlfriends, but for now, it was worth it enough to make it to the top 25 moments of 2009.

The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 24

24. Gargantuan Frozen Food Dinner

About halfway into our 24 hour day (Which ended up being 18 hours), Jon and I decided that we were hungry from our adventures. So what do you eat when you're hungry on an epic day? Unhealthy amounts of frozen food.


At that moment, I felt like we were at McDonalds. Overall, even though I will regret that years from now when I'm 35 and watching soap operas while eating my third Whopper of the hour, it was so worth it at that moment. Thus it being one of the 25 best moments of the year.

The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 25

25. Fruit Punch Chug

It was a great week at EFY. My charm was charming. My looks were looking. And my boldness was unfortunately bolding. Wednesday marked the pizza night of the group. We all ate outside and enjoyed ourselves until our leader announced that he forgot cups. While the girls were upset, the guys were just fine with drinking straight from the bottles. However, one bottle of carbonated fruit punch lay untouched. When the leader and another kid joked about chugging it, one man took the challenge.




Luckily, a health guy came over and stopped me at half way, while I had downed an entire litre. And how good that was. Afterwards, I cried and moaned in screaming agony. It felt as though I were listening to an Owl City song. That much pain. However, my bold attempt of chugging a 2 liter bottle of fruit punch in front of my peers was worth it, being a great moment of 2009.


Michael Xavier Youd

The Top 25 Moments of the Year

2009 has been an eccentric year. Filled with creepers, chuggers, and crying children, this year has had plenty of awesome moments that stick out above others. So I have compiled a list of the 25 best moments of the year. As we go through this magical journey of my year in review, think of one thing: How awesome I am.


Michael Xavier Youd

What is Wrong With the World? Santa Claus is Fat.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,580449,00.html

I saw this on Fox News, and immediately became extremely distraught. First off, Santa has been fat since day one. How dare the world try and make him pull a Cookie Monster? Second off, it was completed by a British Scientific Company, which means it should immediately be discarded. Third, stop giving Santa so much credit! Maybe fat guys like me are proud that we got fat on our own. Stop giving it to the ultimate fatty. Us fat people need to unite and fight the world of celery! So, at this moment, I am declaring war on Dr. Nathan Grills, who is mentally unstable! Fight the power!!!!

Winter Wonderland

I'm awesome. And good looking. And my tie isn't on right.

The Bucket List (Part 1)

Hello, followers.

First, I must apologize for my lack of recent blog posts. I've been extremely depressed ever since the recent protests against me, and therefore could not put the energy into blogging my depression, which would sound so depressing. This would depress you to a point of severe depression. I'm sorry if I depressed you.

Anyways, after getting some Facebook pass-along notes involving bucket lists, lately I've been thinking about life, and how short it is, and how little time we have. (I am straight) So, I've decided to start my own bucket list. I will continue to add onto it, and any time that I complete an item, I shall tell of the story on this Lusciously American Blog. Here we go.

1. Get kicked out of a mall.
2. Dress up like a leprechaun in public for a day (No St. Patrick's Day)
3. Have a random (but attractive) woman make out with me for reasons I don't know. (That includes my extreme fame)
4. Learn the entire dance to "Thriller"
5. Punch somebody in the face
6. Punch Tom Cruise in the face
7. Touch Oprah's hand. I was just going to leave it at touch Oprah, but that would be controversial.
8. Bleach my hair.
9. Tackle a bear
10. Pick up a girl at a bookstore by looking in the "Vampire Romance" section
11.Meet Bono
12. Buy a Fedora
13. Successfully complete the Gallon Challenge (Yes, I have tried before)
14. Swim in a non-swimming fountain (Yes, like in Batman Begins)
15. Win in a fight against Chuck Norris.

Christmas Wish List (Part 3)

Sorry about the lack of depth that was Christmas Wish List (Part 2). Unfortunately, when in times of severe stress and pain, such as the times I face, a man will mix up the enter key and the tab key. Please do not judge me for this transgression.
Anyways, now that I have made my official apology to the world for my extremely offensive post, here is my continued Christmas Wish List.

-The ability to moonwalk
-Leather pants
-Keytar (For those of you unaware, this is a keyboard-guitar)
-Anything related to spandex (For professional purposes only, of course)
-Tube Socks (These are for fun)
-Bidet. Need I say more?
-For people to stop commenting on my cute baby face. My face is vicious. It is not a toy.
-Knowing the entire dance to "Thriller"
-Shawn Johnson.
-For people to realize my straightnessity (Hopefully my Shawn-Shawn will help with that (See above))
-The ability to say, "I'm gonna need a hacksaw", and be taken seriously.
-The ability to cut someone's head off with a hacksaw.
-To have my memories of seeing "Mamma Mia" erased. As weird as that movie was, now the songs frequently get stuck in my head. They're so catchy...yes, I've been brokenhearted, blue since the day we parted NO!!!
-Let me reemphasize the "I'm straight" thing.
-Barbies...I'm straight.
-Scratch that barbie thing.
-For the Jonas Brothers to reveal their transvestism. That's just for fun.

More to come. Merry Christmas, world. I'm straight.

Christmas Wish List (Part 2)

Operation: iTunes Completion (Progress Report)

Since you all care so much about what I listen to, here's my progress. Don't you dare lie and say that you don't care. You care.

Currently Listening to: "Other Arms" by Robert Plant

Next 9 songs on my list:
1. "Shooting Star" by Ringo Starr and Simon Kirke
2. "It Don't Come Easy" by Ringo Starr
3. "Liverpool 8" by Ringo Starr
4. "I Don't Want to Lose You" by REO Speedwagon
5. "Here With Me" by REO Speedwagon
6. "Don't Let Him Go" by REO Speedwagon
7. "The Voodoo Walk" by Ray Davies
8. "No One Listen" by Ray Davies
9. "Vietnam Cowboys" by Ray Davies


Number of Songs Listened to (Including Current Song): 157
Songs Not Listened to Yet: 2201 (Added some songs)
Percentage of Songs Listened To: 6.6%
Percentage Left to Listen To: 93.4%

In case you were confused by the recurring artists in the upcoming songs, I have put my order set by rating of the song, from lowest to highest, and then organize those ratings by Artist, from Z to A. Currently, I am in the "R" 3 star section.

This is difficult. Sometimes I bleed.

Michael "Xavier" Youd

New Moon: The Journey of Manhood

So today, my mother came up to me and said, "Hey, wanna go see New Moon today? Don't think of that as an offer as much as a command." So I looked up the movie times, and saw that The Blind Side was also playing. So I went, thinking that I could get away with a last minute change. So when we were about 10 minutes away from the theatre, I mentioned that The Blind Side was playing. My mother, being the generous person she was, told me that I could go and see The Blind Side if I wished. Then, she pulled her deceitul tricks. At the movie theatre, she asked me which movie I wanted to see. I told her "The Blind Side". She then told the worker, "Hi. I'd like 4 tickets for New Moon". She then told me, "You can go to whichever one you want, but the candy and popcorn go to New Moon." So, being deceived by my mother and popcorn, I walked into the Teenage Girl Abyss. Here's how the movie went (from what I saw).

First, I sat through trailers for various chick flicks that only girls and their reluctant boyfriends would ever see. Then, I went to the bathroom. When I came back, a girl was giving Cat Stevens a hug on screen. Then a bunch of awful writing/acting occured before my eyes, before there was a fight scene between two members of a gay pride parade. The fighting was very Gay-Matrixy. The Gaytrix. I then went to the bathroom again. When I came back, the pale guy broke up with the chick with awful acting. She then walked around like she was a zombie (Without the gore :( ). She then started hanging out with Cat Stevens. I walked to the bathroom again. When I came back, Cat Stevens turned into an angsty David Archuleta. Then, he turned into an awfully animated wolf, and attacked Bob Marley, and some random chick with Rodman-Esqur hair started running around. Then suddenly, the chick realized that she sucked at acting so she jumped off a cliff, and the Rodman chick disappeared in the water. (I have a theory at this is a Cat Stevens trip.) Then, David Archuleta saved bad acting chick. Then, they all went to Rome to save vampire-Harvey Milk. Harvey took off his shirt, and his extremely displaced nipples showed. (Left nipple=a lot higher and bigger than the right nipple). Then, I went to the bathroom again. When I got back, they were all in with a bunch of gay French guys. After more Gaytrix fighting, they all walked out in the anticlimatic ending. Then, there was another 10 minutes of her debating whether she should be a vampire or not. Then, Harvey and David had a fight, to which the angsty David left angstily. Harvey then shocked the world and proved he was straight by asking the GIRL to marry him. At that point I couldn't help but scream, "Cedric Diggory!!".

And now for my review. Many of you are confused as to why I admire Edward and hate the movie. While Mr. Cullen is a good key for telling what the modern woman finds attractive, I do belive that he would do better in a different setting, IE not in a world that sets the bar so high for a guy such as me. I do not think that he should be in a film that the average man hates so much. So while I support Edwards attractivenessity, I do not support his actions. Also, Jacob is 10 years old and has a photoshopped body. So I will continue to admire and envy Edward Cullen, but I will not support his teenage lifestyle.

So overall? Cat Stevens on Roids+Gay Vampires-Everyone thinking you're straight= 11 out of 10 stars. Highly reccomend it.


Michael Xavier Youd

Thanks!

Seeing as Thanksgiving is coming up, I have spent the majority of my time pondering what I'm thankful for, which overthrew other activities of what I would normally do, which includes eating, sleeping, and utilizing the rest room. And, after weeks of doing absolutely nothing, this is what I have generated for what I am thankful for.

-Edward Cullen, for taking away some of my extremely heavy burden. Too long have I lifted the weight of the good looking world, having to have every single lady. Now I have a partner in good looking-ness. Thank you, Edward Cullen.

-Black socks. Too long has the world suffered with scratchy socks that make children cry. Now I feel like I'm having a massage on my feet, 24/7. I've been wearing these socks for 5 days now, and they still make me feel like my feet are numb. I seriously can't feel a thing. Thank you, black socks.

-The Swine Flu. The funniest sickness since HIV, the swine flu has made us all realize who we are. And we are weak and fragile human beings who fall down at the sight of a pig. Pathetic. But thank you, swine flu, for humbling our wimpy souls.

-Michael Jackson. For being the creepy child molester that we all loved, and then within a single day, turning into one of the most respected pop icons ever. Thanks for giving us something to laugh at, then taking it away so that anytime a joke of him is brought up, the world freaks out at you. Thank you, Michael Jackson.

-Facial hair, for fighting gayness everywhere.

-ZZ Top. Need I say more?

So overall, I'm thankful for a teenage vampire-model, church socks, a deadly illness, a child molester, a natural process of life, and a mediocre band. Thank you.

Michael "Xavier" Youd

PS-Thank you, Chuck Norris.

Operation: iTunes Completion (Update)

Ignore the last post regarding Operation: iTunes Completion. The library had a small glitch in it. After figuring this out, I started uncontrollably screaming, throwing sharp/glass objects across rooms, and kicking people's shins. Here's a real and sensible update as to where I am.

Currently Listening to: "That Next Place" from Meet Joe Black

Next 9 songs on my list:
1. "Someone Else" from Meet Joe Black
2. "Cheek to Cheek" from Meet Joe Black
3. "My Girl" by the Temptations
4. "(I Know) I'm Losing You" by The Temptations
5. "I Want To Hold Your Hand" from Across the Universe
6. "If It's In You" by Syd Barrett
7. "Dark Globe" by Syd Barrett
8. "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor
9. "Baby Love" by The Supremes

Number of Songs Listened to (Including Current Song): 67
Songs Not Listened to Yet: 2277
Percentage of Songs Listened To:2.8%
Percentage Left to Listen To: 97.2%

In case you were confused by the recurring artists in the upcoming songs, I have put my order set by rating of the song, from lowest to highest, and then organize those ratings by Artist, from Z to A. Currently, I am in the Thomas Newman 3 star section.

This is going to take forever.

Michael "Xavier" Youd

Good News

After falling into a pool of radiation, I can now blog using my iPod! So there will be more of these in the future! Yay!!! Happiness!!! Yay!!!

Operation: iTunes Completion

After listening to "Like No Other Night" by .38 Special, I have listened to 44 of my 2344 songs, which puts me at the 2300 milestone. This may take a while. Next up on my list:

"Mother (Live)" by Pink Floyd
"Dead End Street" by The Kinks
"Change the World" by Eric Clapton
"Forever in Blue" by Journey
"The Party's Over (Hopelessly in Love)" by Journey

Christmas Wish List: Part 1

As many of you know, the only holiday that is more American than 4th of July is Christmas. Christmas=America. So, in order to celebrate Christmas the correct way, I would like to put the beginning of my wish list on my blog. So here we go.

-American Flag
-Dead Bear
-World Domination
-Facial Hair
-Cardboard cut-out of Hugh Grant or Pat Sajak
-Super speed
-Beard
-Bong
-Alex Trebek's head on a platter
-Laser vision
-Mom to stop getting into my marijuana stash
-For mom not to get mad at me for that last point (Early Christmas present?)
-Refill to my MJ stash (MJ is Michael Jackson, not mary jane...okay, maybe it's mary jane)
-Disco Ball
-Aretha Franklin

This list is going to be continued. Stay tuned throughout the Christmas season.

Michael "Xavier" Youd

Proof of My Patriotism

Last Wednesday, I went to a meeting at school regarding an essay contest that involved America. The topic: Does America Still Have Heroes? Now, I could have written about the biggest American hero of all: Michael "Xavier" Youd. But no, I went into the soldiers, and the truck drivers, and the person who sees the rainbow from the rain (Yes, lyrics from "Desperado" were used). And it appeared to pay off. I now have a 2nd place honor and I'll get $20 (Most American dollar bill), and my essay goes on. Do I regret not talking about me? Absolutely. Will I have to live with it? I suppose so. But, what can I say, I'm American!

Michael "Xavier" Youd

PS-That's right. What can be more patriotic than a bear devouring a fish?

Home Alone, Xavier Style

Some of you may know this, but my Thursday was spent in general isolation from the world. While this may sound depressing, it is actually an American Party. And shockingly enough, an American party does not consist of me crying in my room while listening to James Blunt. Here is how my after-school Home Alone Party went. (Mr. Culkin was unable to attend)

I got home around 3:45. I then let out Nala and did my outside stuff for about 15 minutes. I then warmed up some Potato Skins, watching The Office. After eating, (about 5), I had the desire to go all Risky Business (you know, dancing in your underwear to "Old Time Rock and Roll"). After realizing that Tom Cruise was involved in that, I immediately tried to do something epic enough that I would be forgiven. So I ate a bunch of Salt and Vinegar Chips (AKA, forgiveness). I then went to a somewhat blan Youth Committee meeting. After I got back, I watched my various TV shows (all of which were excellent). At about 10:45, I decided that I should do homework. So I worked for about 45 minutes on homework. At 11:30, I became tired, and had the desire to sleep. But I had to do one more epic thing to end my day alone the right way. So I turned on some Stevie Wonder songs, and ate a bowl of Reese's Pieces. At 11:30. At 11:45, I declared my day a victorious one, and went to sleep. Epic.

Michael "Xavier" Youd

PS-I may or may not have, but definitely have, had the desire to do that Risky Business thing before. Unfortunately, our kitchen isn't set up properly. Curse you, glass door.

Clearing Things Up

For any of you followers that haven't heard, there have been some scandalous incidents recently involving this blog, including things pertaining to The Jonas Brothers, romantic comedies, and a word that starts with "p" and ends with "rivates", among other things. So, I would like to clear some things up.

A. I am not gay. I am 99% sure of this.
B. I have never seen The Proposal. The others are my own personal business.
C. Although I do stick to my ideals of me being the best looking Jonas Brother, I do not listen to them (Refer to A.)
D. I am epic.
E. I am not gay. 98% sure. (Refer to B)
F. I do listen to the Beach Boys.
G. I am not gay. 97% sure. (Refer to F)
H. I would NEVER use the "p******s" word online. How dare you think that?

If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask.

Michael "Xavier" Youd









P. S.- rivates. Secret Message.

For Jon...

How dare you?

On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being Epic...

How cool is this??

Question

Best looking Jonas Brother?