Sorry about the lack of depth that was Christmas Wish List (Part 2). Unfortunately, when in times of severe stress and pain, such as the times I face, a man will mix up the enter key and the tab key. Please do not judge me for this transgression.
Anyways, now that I have made my official apology to the world for my extremely offensive post, here is my continued Christmas Wish List.
-The ability to moonwalk
-Leather pants
-Keytar (For those of you unaware, this is a keyboard-guitar)
-Anything related to spandex (For professional purposes only, of course)
-Tube Socks (These are for fun)
-Bidet. Need I say more?
-For people to stop commenting on my cute baby face. My face is vicious. It is not a toy.
-Knowing the entire dance to "Thriller"
-Shawn Johnson.
-For people to realize my straightnessity (Hopefully my Shawn-Shawn will help with that (See above))
-The ability to say, "I'm gonna need a hacksaw", and be taken seriously.
-The ability to cut someone's head off with a hacksaw.
-To have my memories of seeing "Mamma Mia" erased. As weird as that movie was, now the songs frequently get stuck in my head. They're so catchy...yes, I've been brokenhearted, blue since the day we parted NO!!!
-Let me reemphasize the "I'm straight" thing.
-Barbies...I'm straight.
-Scratch that barbie thing.
-For the Jonas Brothers to reveal their transvestism. That's just for fun.
More to come. Merry Christmas, world. I'm straight.
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Mr. X-
ReplyDeleteYou have stopped posting blog updates. I'm just concerned that perhaps you have decided you hate America, were attacked by a bear because you weren't American enough to fight it, or you have become Switzerland (not America) and have assumed a position of apathetic/pathetic neutrality.
Fearfully yours,
Jon