The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 17

17. Robbie's bringing Sexy Back

It was a miserable day at World's of Fun. We were tired, seeing as we just got out of a band parade. It was cold. It was rainy. Nobody was having fun. Half the rides were closed. At that point, Worlds of Fun seemed to be as fun as watching Project Runway. But then, Robbie Carder brought be back to my senses. Senses that we could have fun by being stupid. So the first thing we did was go over to a $5 age guesser. He spent $5. And they guessed wrong. So he won a free prize. And what should he pick, other than...
Although Robbie has since moved on to Michigan, I shall miss him and his message. The message of bringing sexy back. Thank you Robbie, for being the 17th best moment this year.

Michael Xavier Youd

The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 18

18. Lowes Hide & Seek

Our 18/24 hour day was going well for us, when for some reason, Jon and I decided that we wanted to go to Lowes. About 2 minutes later, we realized that we had made a bad choice in going to Lowes. So in order to make the day more fun, we did what any civilized 2 people would do. We played hide and go seek. Jon hid first. I searched for him for 20 minutes, and assumed he left the store. But I had made a large mistake. I forgot to check Tool World. Of course! How silly could I be? Finally, with satisfied hearts and an empty cart, we left Lowes, making it a little bit better. And best of all, it gave a great moment that will make it into the top 25 moments of 2009.PS- I think that picture is actually from when we were buying food at Wal-Mart. No official evidence is available at the moment that we went to Lowes. We did.

Michael Xavier Youd

The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 19

19. St. Louis Watchtower

It was an extremely warm night for a Dave Matthews Band concert. The situation was not ideal. I was with my mother, who seemed to be tense the entire night. The heat did not help her tenseness, nor did the lesbians sitting in front of us. The opening band got Mom on edge. Finally, Dave comes on. Even though my mother was still upset, we all enjoyed ourselves. And then came the encore. The first song was You & Me, which set the two women in front of us to be...passionate. But then, Dave Matthews gave his one gift to the world: his cover of All Along the Watchtower.
That's not actually a picture I took. That's just the first image when you Google "Dave Matthews St. Louis". Aside from the crappy picture, those 9 minutes were awesome enough not only to make me crap my pants, but to be on the top 25 moments of 2009.

Michael Xavier Youd

The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 20

20. Boys' Day Announcement

It was a splendid Boys' Day 2009, so far filled with orthodontists, Rib Crib, Dave and Busters, a hotel that would seem fit for Michael Jackson, and a crappy movie known as Avatar. The next morning came, and Ihop was needed to fill the soul. So, we were eating, when the phone call came from the Breth Group. The announcement was made to us at Ihop that the members of the Boys' Day Mafia would be gaining another come next May! Oh, what epicness that fills the soul, knowing that Baby Jones is a boy. And on Boys' Day #10! This was epic enough to make the top 25 moments of 2009!

PS- The reason that it isn't higher is that the original #20 on my list actually happened in 2008. So while thinking of a new one, I realized that I hadn't included Baby Jones into the list. So don't be offended at the ranking. It's the most recent event on the list.

Michael Xavier Youd

The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 21

21. MMEA Madness

Ever since I joined band, our bipolar band teacher, Mr. Edwards, has had the strangely large desire to go to the MMEA Conference held every January near Lake of the Ozarks. Finally, this year proved that we were capable of handling this excitement. Excitement. Excitement? Exciteiwanttokillmyselfaftergoingtothatboringconferencement. Filled with dull band directors, tired students, and way too much S.W.A.G. for comfort, the MMEA conference was slightly boring. And the last thing I needed was the flu. But lo and behold, the day of MMEA came, and I was as sick as could be, barely holding in vomit. Here's my face. Note that I had showered twice and this was before the uniform got me sweaty.

So why is this on my top 25 moments of 2009? Firstly, I got to experience what Mr. Edwards considers exciting. Also, now that I look back on the event, it seems that it was one of those events that was so boring/awful, that it almost became fun. For instance, we did get to go and tour a dam. It made me want to gouge my eyes out with a plastic spork, but instead, I spent the majority of the tour signing the guest book under false aliases (Johnny Thunder, Brad Pitt, Minnie Mouse, etc.) with other cocky freshmen. So overall, this not-so-fun fun-nessity was strange enough to make it into the top 25 moments of 2009.

The Top 25 Moments of 2009-22

22. Perkins Pie

It was late, and after a freaking fun night seeing cover bands of Bob Seger and Lynyrd Skynyrd while my mom was out of town, we were all hungry. So where did we go? Perkins. After eating a delicious dinner, we ordered a pie. The next morning came around, and breakfast was needed. So what did I have? Perkin's French Silk Pie. (I don't have a picture of this one). Although I'm becoming more convinced by my own blog that I may grow up to be fat, it was worth it in the short run. Enough to make it #22 in my countdown.

The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 23

23. White Wedding

We had just entered the mall in St. Joe on Truett's Last Day in Gallatin. We, being 3 nerdy teenage boys, entered Gamestop. In the store, there was an Xbox being featured with Rock Band on it. So, being awesome, Truett and I had a Face-Off to White Wedding.
Sure, this may have prevented us from ever getting girlfriends, but for now, it was worth it enough to make it to the top 25 moments of 2009.

The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 24

24. Gargantuan Frozen Food Dinner

About halfway into our 24 hour day (Which ended up being 18 hours), Jon and I decided that we were hungry from our adventures. So what do you eat when you're hungry on an epic day? Unhealthy amounts of frozen food.


At that moment, I felt like we were at McDonalds. Overall, even though I will regret that years from now when I'm 35 and watching soap operas while eating my third Whopper of the hour, it was so worth it at that moment. Thus it being one of the 25 best moments of the year.

The Top 25 Moments of 2009- 25

25. Fruit Punch Chug

It was a great week at EFY. My charm was charming. My looks were looking. And my boldness was unfortunately bolding. Wednesday marked the pizza night of the group. We all ate outside and enjoyed ourselves until our leader announced that he forgot cups. While the girls were upset, the guys were just fine with drinking straight from the bottles. However, one bottle of carbonated fruit punch lay untouched. When the leader and another kid joked about chugging it, one man took the challenge.




Luckily, a health guy came over and stopped me at half way, while I had downed an entire litre. And how good that was. Afterwards, I cried and moaned in screaming agony. It felt as though I were listening to an Owl City song. That much pain. However, my bold attempt of chugging a 2 liter bottle of fruit punch in front of my peers was worth it, being a great moment of 2009.


Michael Xavier Youd

The Top 25 Moments of the Year

2009 has been an eccentric year. Filled with creepers, chuggers, and crying children, this year has had plenty of awesome moments that stick out above others. So I have compiled a list of the 25 best moments of the year. As we go through this magical journey of my year in review, think of one thing: How awesome I am.


Michael Xavier Youd

What is Wrong With the World? Santa Claus is Fat.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,580449,00.html

I saw this on Fox News, and immediately became extremely distraught. First off, Santa has been fat since day one. How dare the world try and make him pull a Cookie Monster? Second off, it was completed by a British Scientific Company, which means it should immediately be discarded. Third, stop giving Santa so much credit! Maybe fat guys like me are proud that we got fat on our own. Stop giving it to the ultimate fatty. Us fat people need to unite and fight the world of celery! So, at this moment, I am declaring war on Dr. Nathan Grills, who is mentally unstable! Fight the power!!!!

Winter Wonderland

I'm awesome. And good looking. And my tie isn't on right.

The Bucket List (Part 1)

Hello, followers.

First, I must apologize for my lack of recent blog posts. I've been extremely depressed ever since the recent protests against me, and therefore could not put the energy into blogging my depression, which would sound so depressing. This would depress you to a point of severe depression. I'm sorry if I depressed you.

Anyways, after getting some Facebook pass-along notes involving bucket lists, lately I've been thinking about life, and how short it is, and how little time we have. (I am straight) So, I've decided to start my own bucket list. I will continue to add onto it, and any time that I complete an item, I shall tell of the story on this Lusciously American Blog. Here we go.

1. Get kicked out of a mall.
2. Dress up like a leprechaun in public for a day (No St. Patrick's Day)
3. Have a random (but attractive) woman make out with me for reasons I don't know. (That includes my extreme fame)
4. Learn the entire dance to "Thriller"
5. Punch somebody in the face
6. Punch Tom Cruise in the face
7. Touch Oprah's hand. I was just going to leave it at touch Oprah, but that would be controversial.
8. Bleach my hair.
9. Tackle a bear
10. Pick up a girl at a bookstore by looking in the "Vampire Romance" section
11.Meet Bono
12. Buy a Fedora
13. Successfully complete the Gallon Challenge (Yes, I have tried before)
14. Swim in a non-swimming fountain (Yes, like in Batman Begins)
15. Win in a fight against Chuck Norris.

Christmas Wish List (Part 3)

Sorry about the lack of depth that was Christmas Wish List (Part 2). Unfortunately, when in times of severe stress and pain, such as the times I face, a man will mix up the enter key and the tab key. Please do not judge me for this transgression.
Anyways, now that I have made my official apology to the world for my extremely offensive post, here is my continued Christmas Wish List.

-The ability to moonwalk
-Leather pants
-Keytar (For those of you unaware, this is a keyboard-guitar)
-Anything related to spandex (For professional purposes only, of course)
-Tube Socks (These are for fun)
-Bidet. Need I say more?
-For people to stop commenting on my cute baby face. My face is vicious. It is not a toy.
-Knowing the entire dance to "Thriller"
-Shawn Johnson.
-For people to realize my straightnessity (Hopefully my Shawn-Shawn will help with that (See above))
-The ability to say, "I'm gonna need a hacksaw", and be taken seriously.
-The ability to cut someone's head off with a hacksaw.
-To have my memories of seeing "Mamma Mia" erased. As weird as that movie was, now the songs frequently get stuck in my head. They're so catchy...yes, I've been brokenhearted, blue since the day we parted NO!!!
-Let me reemphasize the "I'm straight" thing.
-Barbies...I'm straight.
-Scratch that barbie thing.
-For the Jonas Brothers to reveal their transvestism. That's just for fun.

More to come. Merry Christmas, world. I'm straight.

Christmas Wish List (Part 2)