What is Wrong With the World? Santa Claus is Fat.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,580449,00.html

I saw this on Fox News, and immediately became extremely distraught. First off, Santa has been fat since day one. How dare the world try and make him pull a Cookie Monster? Second off, it was completed by a British Scientific Company, which means it should immediately be discarded. Third, stop giving Santa so much credit! Maybe fat guys like me are proud that we got fat on our own. Stop giving it to the ultimate fatty. Us fat people need to unite and fight the world of celery! So, at this moment, I am declaring war on Dr. Nathan Grills, who is mentally unstable! Fight the power!!!!